Riding the Teacups

My original CB and I used to feel TTC and riding roller coasters were synonymous. There are ups and downs, twists and turns, sudden stops, slow rises, except with TTC, all these relate to your emotions instead of being physically thrown around at high speeds. We called TTC "Riding the Teacups". You do the same things, bd, take prenatals, eat right, temp daily, lay with your legs in the air, and then endure the anxiety-ridden 2ww. Just like the teacups, you spin and spin, there's anticipation that you'll end up somewhere different than where you started, but when the 2ww/ride is over, you're back at the same spot as when you got on. We also call it the teacups because its not the biggest ride you'll have to face either. Once you conceive, you graduate, off the teacups to a bigger roller coaster -- this one has tunnels, it has a slow steep climb and then it goes really fast . . . this is pregnancy. She got off the teacups very early and left me spinning alone. Don't get me wrong, I was glad she got off, one can only handle spinning round and round for so long and then the teacups are no fun at all. I try to be supportive of her new ride, but truth is, I can't really understand what she's going through, I've never been pregnant. I only know the teacups. I see the giant roller coaster ride of pregnancy and scary as it looks to some people, I really really want to get on it. I try and its like the attendant looks at me and says, "36 inches" you're too small. I feel small. I feel un-pregnant. I feel like everyone else is pregnant and I may never know the feeling. I feel like I hate the teacups.