I haven't posted since May. Well, let's do a quick summary of events.
End of May -- I was cut from my job as a teacher (first year teachers received huge rounds of cuts due to the budget in our state; being an elective teacher, I didn't have much say). This turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I love teaching however it is very stressful and ttc plus added stress doesn't help in the "just relax" therapy.
In June and July -- DH and I tried to just relax and not worry so much about temping and testing, I admit I still watched these things but didn't share when the fertile time was so DH could not stress about it and his responsibilities which I know were causing him to stress and worry about having to bd at certain times for the CAUSE. :)
August -- This was sort of our, "ok, its been a while now, if it doesn't happen this month, we agree to go see a doctor" month. Well, it didn't happen and I was starting to lose hope. I now couldn't come back to blogging, what for, what answers did I have? I started to realize all my posts may be the same, hopeful symptoms of things my mind is imagining because I want to be pregnant so much. Ok, I admit also, I had a cry-fest pity party. It lasted a couple weeks. Then, I woke up. No one is going to do this for me, no one is going to magically get us pregnant, if we want it, we must be active participants in the getting. I have faith. Don't misunderstand that I believe we could do this without God's help. FAR FROM IT!! But it comes to mind, I can't win the lottery without God's say so, but He laughs and says, well dear, you certainly can't win it either without buying a ticket! LOL Yes, God has a sense of humor. So yes, I believe God wants us to have children, but we also have to work toward it ourselves. I don't expect anything in life to just be handed to me, I've worked for everything because God has always instilled in me that work ethic and go-getter attitude. So, with God's help, we are on our way to have a baby!
September -- We work on our referrals for specialists and we are granted them as we've been not preventing for 4 years now. DH gets his 1st scheduled SA and I am referred to a fertility specialist OB/GYN. DH's SA results were a clue to the answers we needed to continue on our journey of TTC.
DH has low sperm count - 11 million/mL when normal is considered above 20 million/mL.
DH has low morphology - .5% normal with 99.5% abnormal. Normal fertile range is above 5% normal.
DH has olympic swimmers!! - 77.9% forward progression, normal is above 50%.
The morphology was the most devastating. The low count can be treated but we were concerned about how treatable his morphology would be especially with such a low count, we were classified as having a poor prognosis for conception. :(
October -- DH is referred to a urologist. He is diagnosed with a grade 3 varicocele. Varicocele is a cluster of veins in the testicle that are similar to varicose veins. This is the most common cause of male infertility. Grade 1 is the first stage/grade, being mild, grade 3 is the most severe. DH has an upcoming SA next week and then we take all his blood work (hormones) and SA's to our appt with the urologist on the 25th where we will schedule his surgery to correct the varicocele. Talk about one of our worst days. DH was depressed, scared, angry, and it was doubly-hard to be the strong one. I had to remind DH whatever issue we encountered is OUR issue, no one's fault, just part of our road to having kids. As unfair as it seems, DH and I never had things easy, but we are always stronger for it, and frankly, wouldn't seem right to have it any other way. Its as though all our trials and tribulations always prepare us for something harder ahead. So, fair to say, we're ready for the challenge. Anyway, DH was not poked and prodded alone! I had my cycle day 3 blood work, haven't heard back on those but I assume if it wasn't good, they would've called. I had an HSG done this week. It was very intimidating, very scary, but after it was done, I was relieved. Tubes are free and clear. Up next we wait to see when DH schedules his surgery then I'll schedule my laparascopic surgery. The more information we have, the better equipped we are to have a game plan to conceiving. The lap surgery will check me for endometriosis. If I'm all clear then we just have to wait to see improvement in DH's numbers. I know we'll see improvement. Then, we'll either look into IUI and consider clomid for me. If the numbers aren't that drastically improved, we will consider IVF with ICSI.
Ok, that's the informational wrap up. I'll go into the emotional effects later. Its been rough and I wish people would just watch what they say and stop thinking they know so much about having kids, even when they've had them, they didn't have them with the issues we're dealing with. Its not the same for everyone and I'm sorry, "Just stop talking about it and do it already," isn't helpful advice.
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