April 11dpo

11 dpo -- BBT was 98.5. So, woke up and noticed the rise in my BBT and was pleasantly surprised. I was dreading a huge dip that would mean AF is definitely arriving. So, what do I do? I rashly go and POAS. Even though I promised myself I wouldn't I took it as a pretty big sign to go ahead and do it. Well, heartbroken again with a BFN. The definition of crazy: repeating the same action with the expectation of a different result. Yep, that's me in the 2ww. My phone has an app to chart my bbts for me and I noticed the steady increase in temps and noticed my app placed a coverline for me and saw that this could mean I went triphasic. So, now had to research what triphasic temps meant, even though it was just one day of a rise so far...but learned it is a good sign, for some, and meaningless for others. Some ppl go triphasic w/o being PG, and some PG women don't go triphasic. So, boo, all this info applies to some and not others. I wish I was issued a guide to myself when I was born, so I'd know what my PG symptoms would be and what I would need to know about myself. Herrumph. Same twinges today. Brief period of lightheadedness when I was bending down. BBs feel better but slight discomfort remains. BIG change today beside bbt, was went to pee at lunch like usual, and noticed I had spotted brown something. Total meltdown ensued. Cried in my stall a bit. Frantically texted my CB for support because I was losing it at work and needed someone to understand my fears/woes/worry/confusion. She was great and positive as always and I'm hoping my spotting was IB and not AF trying to start. Get out of here, old itchy AF! I don't want to see you for at least 9 months!

April 10dpo

10 dpo -- BBT was 98.3. Aside from the signs from above, today was a good day. Not that the signs were bad, they were actually quite positive, just I'm not sure if what I was seeing was what I was seeing....yep, I know how crazy I sound, that's why I'm not telling anyone including DH my "signs". So..symptoms? Still feels like AF should be starting, every time I went to el baño, I checked to make sure I didn't need AF materials (tampon/pad), and even came home after the end of the day with AF a no-show. Yay! I'm on cd 23, (mini-celebration) a milestone in that I'm officially longer than I was last month. Still same twinges on left and right sides of pelvic bone it feels, rotating otherwise if they both felt strongly at the same time I'd say exactly like my period cramps. CM seems to have dried up a bit, not the watery feeling like earlier, tmi warning.....ok, fair warning: seems to be more similar to chunky cm, in that it is in small granules rather than a lotiony or watery feeling. Resisting all urges to test until Saturday. That is my goal. I can do it. BBs still uncomfortable with pressure, even slight pressure but not heavy/full feeling anymore. I am still uber tired. Still have slight headache, with sore throat and a stuffy nose at night.

April 9dpo

9 dpo -- BBT was 98.3. I had a full day bustling with activity, out in the sun all day, running here and there. I still noticed how incredibly tired I was, I was yawning all day when in this situation, I would NOT be yawning. Noticed a lot more twinging going on in my abdomen. (I know I noticed somewhere this is described as cervix stretching, and it could be my own hopeful wishful thinking, but this is what I would describe it as) Also, feels like AF is on my front porch knocking to come in. (I actually don't have a front porch, but if I did, I'd look out the peep hole to see if she was on it!) Literally the minute I got home, I ran to the bathroom and peed. I needed to, I even peed at a way public restroom cause I needed to. I felt like I was going to see that AF was here, but alas, she is staying away.......for today. I noticed less sore BBs, but instead some stabbing pains in them periodically. They still look veiny to me, DH is out on the debate, but I definitely notice blue veins. I'm thinking this could also be attributed (as much as I want it to be a PG symptom) to the B12 and B6 that I've been taking to help with my lining and energy, could also be helping my circulation, which could attribute to blue veins. :) See? I can be logical, even in the 2ww of HELL. This morning I awoke with an awful headache that started between my eyes and spanned all the way across my head to the nape of my neck. Full. Blown. Headache. I didn't take anything for it, just hoped it was a good sign and let it be. Yep, guess that's it, oooop, nope, now I remember, also noticed this morning how awful my throat hurt. I must be getting sick despite the vitamin armor I've put on, working in a school will do that to you! Ok! Still praying, and still hopeful.....here's to 10 dpo. (A feat in itself for me!)

April 8dpo

8 dpo -- BBT was 98.1. I knew I shouldn't have done it. I tested. Boo on me. Well, of course it was negative! First of all, I'm only 8dpo, 2nd of all, I have not yet missed AF. Well, of course I wouldn't miss her if she decided not to come, I'd be thrilled, but alas, she is not yet due for another 3-6 days. Boo on me. I know. As if the prior 4 months of negative heartbreaks didn't teach me a lesson....
Ok. Vented. Terrible that I'm the one that bothers me, and I have to vent about myself. Ok "symptom" time. Still so super exhausted. I had a double-header today, not very stressful, watched movies in class, uneventful, but I'm sheer wore out. My eyeballs still burn at the eyelid and feel sore behind them. I had a headache right between my eyes too. This tells me, my eyes are tired. Note to self: wear glasses more. BBs still uncomfortable, but less so than this weekend. Still quite gassy however I really don't feel like I'm eating gas-causing food. I told DH this last symptom, which may have been a mistake because it broke him a bit, but it feels like AF is knocking on my door. Had a bit of cloudy CM, but just "feels" like I'm about to start. This would worry me because I'm on CD 20. My 'normal' cycle is about 26 days, last month only went 23, and a 20 day cycle would mean my LP would be shy of 10 days. Sooooooo, lets A) hope this is sign of PG, and B) hopes AF does not come this week.

I know I'd be a good Mom, Lord. Please?

April 7dpo

7 dpo-- BBT was 98.2. This has me worried as I would have hoped to have a dip in temp by now. However, if it keeps rising and does not go down, that should be a good sign too? I am not dismissing that I may have perhaps not taken my temp correctly, I wouldn't put that past myself either! I hope to take the attitude that I'm not out until mean 'ol AF shows her hideous face. So until that day, I vow to remain hopeful. So, bbs were really sore most of the day yesterday and when I woke up. DH tried to give me a hug and it was uncomfortable. Now, I'm wearing a bra (I don't wear one to sleep normally) and they seem fine. I noticed (or imagined) blue veins being slightly visible around my chest. Oh, and yes, still a bit gassy. CM yesterday was just watery and now I haven't noticed anything. I did nap yesterday for 3 hours, remained tired and went to bed early. I still feel pretty tired. I forgot to mention yesterday I had a very detailed crazy horrible dream, and this morning I remember waking up not sure if I was still dreaming or if I had awoken, don't remember the content of the dream just that it was very real. Toward the end of yesterday I felt as I normally do before AF starts. I started counting my CD out, and today I'm CD 19, last cycle I was 23 days, normally I'm 24-28. I O'd on CD 11, which normal is CD 10 - 12. As long as LP lasts at least 10 days, I'll be a happy camper.

I did want to share a cute note, a Momma Robin made a nest on the outside sil of our master bath, and she has 4 beautiful blue robin eggs inside that she faithfully keeps warm, and even when DH or myself goes outside she'll leave the nest but never too far away, to keep an eye on her babies. DH wants to put a feeder out for her so she doesn't have to leave to far from her nest to eat. He's so cute. :)

April 6dpo

6 dpo -- 98.1 BBT. I attempted once again to check CP, and I'd say it was high to mid, and soft. I really hope I'm checking out the right things...I told DH I should go to the dr, and have her check then tell me what it is so I'll get one right! He offered to check for me but I think it would be the blind leading the blind. I ate my hard boiled eggs this morning, they were delicious. Had a gassy morning, could be from the humongous route 44 banana Dr. Pepper I had last night with pizza, but how often do you get to splurge with friends? I have been tearing up very easily, not too far from my norm though, I'm a crier. Could also be that my eyes still feel so tired so maybe they are dry and my body is trying to help out? CM seemed wetter today, slightly more in abundance, sort of like going through pre O again. Weird. idk, this is all just driving me nuts looking for clues and over-analyzing every tiny body movement (is that a pinch? is that gas? is that implantation? is that an air bubble?) BBS just feel tender, still not "sore" just a little more sensitive only around nips, no increase or decrease from yesterday. Day is only half over, if I have a major cramp/pain/dizzy spell/spot/anything that is of significance, I'll come back and write more. I think I'm swinging my thoughts toward a - this month based on CP, it may be early yet, I may be totally screwing up the determination of CP, I could just be my own worst enemy, I really really really want to just get on God's Time and be at peace with that. I just have a sneaking suspicion I'm supposed to be helping the steps on this path, just not sure what steps and what path. Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts. What a roller coaster this one post went on! oooooooh, poor DH, at least he laughs with me at the insanity of it all.

April 5dpo

5 dpo--BBT was 98.1. I don't think I have enough data to know what is high or normal for post O, I don't know if I'm elevated, I hope if I do have a "dip" it'll be pretty drastic, pretty much a "dip-for-dummies" so even I would have a real clue. So, pretty stressful day, I think I broke out even more, even had a tiny headache. I am extremely tired and my eyeballs seem to burn my eyelids, so so tired. We were on "lockdown" for part of the day so that just made the day drag on. I attempted a CP invest today in the shower, my thoughts are hmm, for someone who'd never done that before, I'd guess high and soft. I hope that doesn't sound dumb. I'll have to try again tomorrow and see if there are any changes to make sure my initial invest was accurate. CM still feels sort of wet in the panties, but other than that still seems normal to dry. (Normal to dry, just like my skin and hair, CM is followin suit lol) My bbs do not feel tender or sore, but my nips do. No twinges today, no pinches, no cramping. No nausea, no smell sensitivity other than my cinnamon pine cones bother me (its also getting warmer so hence, I can smell them more). I had a craving for hard-boiled eggs (but then again, so did DH so voila, DH boiled some eggs and we'll partake tomorrow!)
In summary....hahahah No Real Symptoms.

April 4dpo

4dpo - No real symptoms, but here is what I felt:
Slight discomfort behind my bellybutton area (also could be gas I guess).
CM is idk normal, it did feel a little wetter, but after investigation, really seemed normal.
I hear your urine should smell really strong or musky, I can't really say I have a musky smelling pee, I may just be self-conscious especially having to pee at work and any little smell seems 10 times greater than it really is....anyway, I felt it smelled strong. TMI hahaha. So lucky just my hubby and occassional CB read this! :)
I swear my bbs felt tender but then now that I'm home from work, they feel fine. I did just start to break out (could be I ran out of my usual soap and have switched soaps).
So apparently overall, my last night's pasta might have made me gassy, and my bbs are probably sore from me feeling them every hour to check if they're sore!! **sighs** I'm going nuts. My bbt this morning was 98.0. Warm for me, but maybe I'm getting sick....

April 3dpo

Okay, so I decided to start this blog on the 4th month of trying. All previous months were BFN. Anyway, I apologize for starting in the middle per se of my cycle but here goes...
A catch up--
1dpo - no symptoms whatsoever. (Not worried, I read most women don't experience any symtoms until implantation, so I have some time...although I see those women who claim to have symptoms as early as 2dpo.)
2dpo - no symptoms whatsoever, again. (I can perceive symptoms if I really try, which I think is what I was doing the last three months, every little twinge/cramp/headache/etc can be a "symptom" of pregnancy, but in the hell week of tww, it can also be logically explained...) I say no symptoms, but if we do by the Grace of God become PG, then maybe I would have liked to have kept a better journal -- so by that right, I am extremely tired!! Eyes are drooping, need a nap every hour although cannot take one. Logical me says, well, you are in the middle of coaching, and nearing the last month of school, you are stressed and have long hours, hmm, explanation to fatigue? I think its possible....but then again, hope its a symptom nonetheless!!

(See, its an up and down roller coaster ride that will drive you nuts!)

Okay, today, 3 dpo.
On my drive to work today, I felt a pain similar to O cramps, which I felt quite strongly on my O day. By the way I test with OPK/test strips, and I got a beautiful +++ so DH and I BD on O day, and 2 dpo, as well as day before O day. So on my O day, I did feel O cramps on my right side, and today felt a very similar cramp. Dare I say, a twinge? I am still very tired. Feel dehydrated. Breast tenderness however can be logically attributed to BD'ing last night. :) Normal cm, nothing out of ordinary.

Initial post; introductions.

Hello. I am 28 years old, DH is 28. We will be celebrating 7 years of marriage this fall. I am a hopeful dreamer who is ttc. Hopeful because when you decide to try, every month you have to hold out hope that this will be the month. A dreamer because I have seen my children in my dreams, I know they will exist. So, here is a brief history:
DH's sister was my best friend and roommate in college. We also happened to work together. Sometimes, DH would come by to pick up his sister for lunch or give her a ride home and these days my stomach would fill with butterflies and my heart would race. Eventually I asked my best friend if it would be okay with her, to ask her brother out. (Yes, I'm quite forthcoming) She agreed. DH and I have been together ever since. After a year long engagement we were married in 2003. We followed our parents' advice and decided to wait 5 years before ttc. I still agree this was highly beneficial to our marriage. I have been off BCP since 2006 so I am not sure when I'd be classified as officially ttc. We weren't "trying" but going off the pill, we weren't "not trying" either. I think the conscious decision to "try" came January 2010, so thus began ovulation tracking, bbt charting, cm investigations, and bd'ing on a tight schedule as my cycle is only 24-27 days long. It must be stated however, since we've been married, my husband has been deployed for a total of a 2.5 years, so the "trying" gets a little hard to do lol. So here we are, on our 4th month of dilegently ttc, and after reading blog after blog, various forums, and countless journals on the subject of the tww, I wanted to give myself an outlet so I don't drive DH away with my rants and questions during a very confusing and emotionally exhausting time...enjoy my day-by-day or close to it journal of my tww.